Thursday, March 5, 2009

Thrifty Knives

My son has been a naughty boy all day today. The temperature finally warmed up to a balmy 50-something, and I really wanted to take him out, however he had other plans. He wanted to scream all the live long day and had no interest in going thrifting. Perhaps he got his fill yesterday. Yes I took him thrifting yesterday but I thought we could hit a different one today. No such luck. Maybe tomorrow then.

Anyway, to get my thrifting fix, I was reading Thrift Store Adventures today, and let me just say that this dude is my hero. Seriously. You should totally check him out. Apparently once he encountered a psycho waving a gun in the Salvation Army parking lot. Reminds me of the time my dad was working on his car near the OSU campus, and some homeless guy walked by, waving a gun, shouting off drunken nonsense. My dad had a drill in his hand and started acting like it was a gun right back at the guy. The guy was too drunk to know the difference and then wandered off. True story.

Anyway, Thrift Store Adventure's encounter with the Salvation Army gun-waver reminded me of my own thrift-store-worries. It seems to me that the steak knife section should be kept under lock and key rather than just sitting out in the kitchen aisle, free for the grabbing by any random psycho. Forks? They're fine. Spoons? They're safe too unless you're Alan Rickman from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. He tells his cousin he's going to cut someone's heart out with a spoon "because it hurts more, you twit!" But for most of us, spoons don't pose too much of a risk.

But steak knives?

I always feel a little unsafe when I'm in that aisle. It's a shame too, because I enjoy perusing the kitchen aisle. I have many, many collections and a great deal of them are kitchen-related. Take my red-wood-handled vintage kitchen utensils for example. They're always located in the same bins as the steak knives. If I want to dig for my treasures, I have to risk my life. I enjoy adding to my collection, but is it worth dying for?

Would you trust these people with a steak knife? That weird guy standing a few paces away... You know, the one who keeps eyeing you? Creep. Or what about the woman screaming bloody murder because you stole that pyrex dish right from under her nose, and she had her eye on it first. Oh no she didn't. And then there's the lady hoarding all the ceramic cat figurines.

Yep, they should lock up the knives.


  1. :-) Great post. My kids are probably wondering what I'm smiling at!
    I was in BigW one day, a couple of days before Christmas. An announcement came over the store speakers offering free steak knives to the first 50 people who presented themselves to the guy in the kitchen aisle. They're giving away knives? Now? Have they seen the looks on people's faces in the store today? I was glad I was at the checkout and high-tailed it out of there!
    Your story reminded me of that day. Now I will be looking over my shoulder in every thrift store too!

  2. I am always afraid of the knives too!!! I went into a thrift shop today and there was a man in there who looked like a bum and the whole place smelled like...lets just say poop , I was getting so sick to my stomach, he didnt seem like a knife wielding man, he just needed a shower!